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Sunday, November 12, 2006
She multiplies infinity - part 1
Fred revelled in talking about cunts. You could see his nostrils widen and draw the air they heated into his lungs when he did so. It wasn't intentional vulgarity - a lot of people thought he was because it wasn't like he didn't know he favoured what is generally considered most offensive word in our language to describe that part of a woman. He didn't mean it like that. He chose words which suited him - he looked like a man who used the word. Just like you could imagine what might be in his wardrobe, you knew he said 'cunt' when he was talking about sex and that part of a woman's body. He also looked like he preferred dogs to cats, went fishing and actually ate the fish, cooking them himself. He looked like a lot of things - we all do, but one of his was a proflific user of the word 'cunt'.
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'I call it a cunt, because that elevates it to its most revered status for me. A lot of men get away with saying 'I'm a tit man, I'm an arse man, I'm a leg man.' Seriously, it's not like I'm not into those things too, but a woman with her legs open showing me what's there - that really flares me up. I'm a cunt man. For me it's the epicentre of a woman's beauty. So, the way a woman presents her cunt is everything. How coy she is with it at times. On the other hand when she abandons it completely to pleasure - for me no pairs of breasts or anything else seem to do that. All roads lead to the cunt. It's my favourite destination on a woman's body - that's it.'
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It was distasteful for a lot of people, but at the same time you couldn't help but listen to his enthusiasm - that's the way he was. Of course, he wouldn't be like this all the time. And, he never used the word to describe someone - he'd use wanker, prick or something, but cunt was reserved for sex with women only. I realise I'm making it sound like an obsession. It wasn't that at all - he just knew that's what he liked, so if the subject arose, that's how he'd talk about. It was out of respect - it genuinely was.
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We'd have those occasional pub talks where you have a round-the-table which celebrity would you fuck conversation. Hypothesis at its most shallow basically. We'd go round naming the latest one got had some paparazzi photos published or one which had a new film out. But, Fred always said:
'I can't commit to one famous beauty without a cunt comparison.'
'Jesus - you can't bring it to that level.'
I really wasn't sure whether to say up or down to that particular level at the time. I just replied:
'Use your imagination Fred.'
Then he'd give an answer anyway. He wasn't one for denigrating a good pub conversation in any direction. He'd usually finish off with something like: 'I'd fuck Nicole Kidman 'cos she carries a gorgeous cunt. You can see that.'We'd laugh at it because it was funny and we knew what he meant. It was on no other level than that found round a table of men with a recent history of five or six beers each. ------ So, this is how I knew when Fred had fallen in love. Sure, he talked about her cunt and I'll say more about that in a minute, but you could tell, from the glow of affection in what he said, that it was love. There were other things too which showed it - the usual - he looked somehow taller, he couldn't speak so long about her as he could about other things, without needing a pause. However, it was the way he described going to bed with her, and seeing her naked for the first time which clinched it. Christ - I almost loved her myself by the time he'd finished. Let's have a coffee and I'll tell you about her - and him with her. ------ Here is She multiplies infinity - part 2. ------ Also, I've got a few new links going and, realising that few people go there and it's mainly for me, I'd like to promote a few of them. My favourite line-turner at the moment is probably Alcoholic Poet. Check her writing out please - it's worth it.
RuKsaK posted at 12:56 PM
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