Here are some assorted quotations from friends and people that I’ve heard. They’re not famous – perhaps should of them should be. All of them, even though I have names, should remain anonymous:

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'It's a modern design classic.'

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On marriage:

‘Just because you buy your favourite painting, you don’t stop going to the gallery.’

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‘Have you noticed that when a cat sits down, its front half is still standing up.’

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‘I don’t give a shit about apathy.’

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‘He lies down in his own shallowness in order to appear deep.’

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‘Russia’s soul has cancer.’

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‘I’ve got a real love-hate relationship with being glib.’

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‘I’ll have tea with bitch please.’

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‘I respect Lenin. I love his clothes.’

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‘I don’t understand Russian, but I want pelmeni and kashka.’

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‘Patriotism is the first seed of racism.’

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‘I’m a religious Darwinist – I believe God is a monkey.’

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‘Erudition is definitely my gig.’

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As with my bro, when I gather more, they’ll come.

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Any more?