My brother doesn’t say much, but he’s a ‘when he does say something...’ person. This will be a continuing outlet for his quotations, which rival the wit of Oscar Wilde and Chubby Brown – in tandem.

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The quotations generally fall into 3 groups: inanity, vulgarisms and sharp piss-takes. Here’s a taster (an unfortunate word in this case):

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‘Brother, are you hungry?’

‘When?’

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‘It seems I’ve fallen in love.’

‘Wow, so it’s serious then?’

‘I don’t know really – maybe.’

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To me after several, hangover toilet visits:

‘You must have an arse like the Japanese flag.’

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After a night on the Big Dog's floor:

'Did you sleep alright?'

'I'd rather have Bin Laden's fizzing cock in my ear than spend another night like that.'

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Regaling our mother’s visit to a Chippendales show:

‘I bet she had a right wide-on.’

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After looking for a book in several different book stores:

‘This should be the plot for the next fucking Indiana Jones film.’

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More will be posted when remembered or discovered.